He told me he’d kill me…

We met through friends at a party. In the beginning, it was fun, happy, exciting, passionate. Eventually, he became controlling. He inserted himself into all situations where I would spend time with my friends. He would get mad at me if another guy so much as looked at me. When he got mad at me, he’d accuse me of cheating on him. He would call me names, tell me about what a horrible person I am, or how I’d make someone miserable for the rest of my life.

When I tried to break things off after a few years, he grabbed me by the throat and told me he’d kill me first. I was eventually able to get him out of the apartment by threatening to call the police only to see him sitting on the couch every night when I got home from work. He just kept breaking in, taunting me. I was able to finally get him away from me only because he had several outstanding motor vehicle warrants in another state.

During the relationship, I felt terrified, foolish, alone, sad, emotionally heavy, defeated, and weak. After, I felt a mix of emotions. I felt scared, empty, and angry at myself, but also empowered, brave, lighter, and strong.

Today, I am married to the love of my life with a beautiful baby girl. I couldn’t be happier. It took a long time for me to heal. I immersed myself into school, found new friends, and stayed single for a few years. I needed to rediscover my worth, to decide I would never let someone treat me like that again.

To anyone experiencing abuseā€¦ You aren’t stupid or weak. They are and that’s why they need to break you down. There are more people than you realize that love and care about you. Use the resources around you to leave. It will take time but you will feel strong again.

Colette L.