I met him through a best friend. She had not seen him in years and did not encourage the relationship. Early on, it was great, as most relationships are in the beginning. We laughed SO much! He was hilarious, handsome and I felt protected.
We had been dating for about a year when he started having bouts of extreme rage. Throughout our relationship/marriage, he broke many many things in the house, including any gift I would receive from family and multiple cell phones of mine. He was verbally abusive on almost a daily basis. He hit me in the face, attempted to hit me with his truck, spit food in my face, held a gun to my head and his, stalked me in multiple unknown vehicles, would sit on a family member’s garage to look through the windows at me at night, broke into my home and would hide my car keys or throw them on the roof so I could not leave. He stole things from me, my family and our kids.
The last incident was the moment I knew I had to leave for good. He broke into my apartment in the middle of the night and hit me and choked me until it was hard to breathe. I jumped out of my second story window to escape for help while our 5 kids were inside sleeping. I was so scared for them because he was in there. He mentally and physically abused our kids. He shot our youngest son over 30 times with a pellet gun when he was 3 years old and wiped soiled underwear in our other son’s face because he had an accident.
Although these were very traumatic years and constantly felt as if I was living in a scary movie, I am so thankful for the things that happened to me (but not my children). I am so much stronger and feel no sympathy for myself. Life is GOOD and God is greater! My kids are absolutely amazing and we have a happy home! I am so proud of the people they are becoming. My ex husband has been in prison since the last incident in 2014 and we have NO contact with him. He will be released in June of 2020. I hope we never have to have contact with him again, although, I am concerned about the court system in our state, as I am not able to terminate his rights without someone adopting the children. I keep hope and look forward to the future!
Today, I feel amazing! A great support system and law enforcement helped me escape the relationship. I still have nightmares, anxiety and flashbacks, but I am thankful for most of what happened because it gave me the opportunity to learn to be an independent mommy of 5, thankful for life and recognize my true worth. I am not a victim, I am a SURVIVOR! 😀
To anyone experiencing abuse… For victims, There is HOPE, HELP and so many people who can relate and support you. For others, SPEAK UP!!
Amanda S., Not a Victim