We started dating when I was a junior in high school. He was a senior. We definitely had a “spark” but he had a lot of family drama between his divorced parents so he was tainted when it came to relationships. I was definitely wanting him to be more committed
We dated for a few months but were never exclusive. Once we started getting more serious, he knew how hard I was falling for him and he definitely took advantage of that. He started tearing down my confidence by saying things about my looks and my friends. If he had plans he wouldn’t even hesitate to go out with his friends, etc. If I had plans and he didn’t, he’d make me feel so guilty about leaving him that I would always end up breaking my plans – by mostly lying to my friends. Eventually it got physical but that happened only 2 times. By that time I started hanging out with a new group of friends and they made me realize that I was so much better than that so I finally broke it off.
We’d dated for three years and it made me feel very insecure. My whole existence was what he was doing, where he was, etc. Once I eventually started to drift from him and he didn’t have that “control” over me, the emotional abuse was getting worse and that’s when he got physical. I was actually happy he got physical because it gave me the strength to say “that’s it…I am out”. He was devastated. Begging for me to go back to him. Swore he’d change, that he realized how horrible he acted, etc. But by then it was too late.
Once I finally broke free, I actually felt like a completely new person. Aside from him calling me and crying constantly begging for me back (which was so difficult for me to tell him over and over I was never going back to him), I was so happy. I am such a strong person now. It was a horrible experience, but I am grateful it happened because of how I don’t put up with crap now. I know I won’t let anyone treat me that way again.
To anyone experiencing abuse… Try to be strong and listen to your inner-self. I had my friends and parents telling me for 3 years how horrible he treated me, but I had to realize it on my own. Once I did, I got such a sense of self-confidence that empowered me.