It was my senior year of high school when we met at a park then started dating. At first, she was friendly, but over time she became jealous of my friends. She always had to come along with me to hangout, but it was never ok for me to ask to go with her places. As we continued dating, she became more jealous and said I couldn’t talk to any of my female coworkers. She would get mad, and even threatened my female friends from work. Eventually, I just got a different job in an all male environment.
All that time, she said she loved me so I thought it was love. Then, we had kids. I worked and stayed home most of the time, while she had more freedom with her girlfriends. I soon got so accustomed to being with my children that I hardly went out with my friends. When I did though, she would guilt me into taking her with me. After about 15 years of this, she got addicted to alcohol. I eventually got her help but she refused to go through with it. She was always yelling and telling me she didn’t have a problem. After this, I caught her cheating on me, and we’ve been separated ever since.
It’s been hard to swallow after losing most of my friends to only be there for her. It took awhile but I’m finally finding myself as a person again. Despite still dealing with some ripples, I feel free. She tried to intimidate me but I stuck my ground and told her she doesn’t control me anymore. I’m going to the gym, taking my kids on weekends, and taking a break to enjoy life.
To anyone experiencing abuse… Don’t take years to stick up for yourself. If the relationship is bad, then get out. Trust me. It’s better being happy than living miserable. I wish I did this a lot sooner. Don’t feel like you have to date right away either. Give yourself time to heal. I hope that my story will help some off you who have felt this way too.
Dave O., New Beginnings…