We met in middle school, and we grew up together. He was very sweet, a smooth talker. He’d do anything for me. Things changed when he started getting more and more possessive. He chased my friends away and told me they were a bad influence. He’d fight with them and tell them bad things that “I said” about them just to get a wedge between us. Because of this, my best friend and I didn’t talk for years until we ran into each other one day and figured out what had actually happened. He would NEVER allow me to go anywhere without him. He would stalk me at work. He “lost his job” so I had to take on three jobs to support us while he partied and slept around. At the same time, he ALWAYS accused me of cheating. There was one time I went to the restroom at a concert and he lost sight of me for maybe 10 minutes. He proceeded to cause a scene saying that he saw me preforming sexual acts with a random guy behind some seats. In the long run, I found out he was the one cheating. He also lied about doing drugs. He got into smoking weed and doing cocaine. He put his hands on me ONE time and that was enough for me to say, “No more. This isn’t the life I want.”
During everything, I felt lost, devastated, and like everything was my fault. I felt like a failure and unwanted. I felt trapped. Thankfully today, I feel great. I am much stronger and have no tolerance for such nonsense. It really opened my eyes up and I started seeing red flags in others right away. I’m much more independent now than I was before. The divorce process was very hard to get through but I kept myself away from social media, blocked all contact with him and his family, moved away, and picked up hobbies to keep my mind busy.
To anyone experiencing abuse… If you are not happy, get out. There is a way out. It won’t be easy but there is help out there. Don’t be scared to reach out to someone, even if you barely know them. Most people are understanding and want to help! IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT AND YOU ARE LOVED.